If you googled, Am I crazy, you probably feel like something is wrong and your mind is acting up. Maybe you feel like your mind is playing tricks on you. Or you ask, “Is what I’m feeling or seeing, real or not real?” It sucks to feel like you can’t trust yourself. At some point you’ll ask – am I crazy? is this normal?
First of all - Mental Illnesses are Normal
Having a mental illness is “normal” – because a lot of people struggle with mental illnesses. Like other illnesses, mental illness are treatable.
Second. Mental illnesses don't make you a bad person. Mental Illness doesn't make you less than. Doesn't make you broken or useless. Life is hard enough - don't beat yourself up too...
But...Am I normal?
The better way to ask this is to ask yourself - Is this normal for you?
Having a full range of feelings and thoughts is normal. Having negative feelings and thoughts is normal. Feelings like sadness (depression), fear (anxiety and paranoia), happiness (mania), and anger (all mental illnesses) are normal and experienced by all people.
The difference between these “normal” feelings and mental illnesses - is realizing that what you're feeling is effecting your life in a way you don't want and it's not normal for you (based on what you know about yourself) and it's not normal compared to those around you.
Look into your past. If there was a sudden change and you think, "Urgh - this isn't me. Something is wrong or different. I don't feel like I can control my brain and my thoughts anymore." This might be your brain trying to tell you that something more is going on.
Check out your peers, classmates, coworkers, or friends. If you look around you and it seems like people aren't struggling in the same way you are, this is also a sign that something is different. It might be worthwhile to check in with someone you feel you can talk to among your friends. Say, "Hey, do you ever feel this way?"
How about culture. Humanity is full of story telling and unique experiences. Sometimes things like ghost stories and even the way we grieve are unique to our culture and make us feel different from those around us that can make you feel crazy...but it's not crazy for your family or your culture. This might not be a mental illness.
You're trying to get better and can't. Mental illness are illnesses - not choices. If you've tried to get better and don't feel better this is a good sign that something might be going on in your brain that is out of your control and requires more help.